As a baby's bottom

At significant risk to my health I have to mention why I have not seen any comment on the obvious use of Botox by comrade Putin. It could be that he has achieved such a youthful looking face by other means but the fashion world needs to know. C'mon Vlad spill the beans.

Fountains Abbey Parkrun

Being of generous spirit I mention to Jan that we should pop to Fountains Abbey for breakfast before we nipped to the Post Office to pick up a parcel that couldn't be delivered because we were out.
Jan usually makes a BLT (and very good it is too) once a week and this was my somewhat feeble attempt to relieve her of that burden.
The cafe opens at 9.30 and it was raining gently so I looked forward to entertaining my beloved in the quiet whilst looking out over the lovely grounds.
There were a few people returning from what looked like a brisk (but wet) morning walk/run as we settled to chomp through a somewhat dry but nonetheless tasty bacon bap in the large cafe seating area.
And they came. There must have been over 200 of them (I know this because I asked how many the cafe could seat) and it wasn't in any way quiet or intimate. It was noisy a bit steamy and we were surrounded by a great many mud splashed individuals of all ages. We had just witnessed the end of the Fountains Abbey Parkrun.

20 Year Diary

It started many years ago with my first ex wife. We'd be having a heated discussion about some nonsense when she'd hit me with something that I'd said or done a long time previously. That started what I call the 20 years diary. Remembering some slight insult or rubbish said many years previously but remembered.

Anyway Jan and I were talking about something and I apologised saying, "that's something for your twenty year diary."

Quick as a flash she said, "don't worry it won't be going in."

After a suitable pause she said, "that one's already full."